Parenting Rules from the Rearview

The Rules:

1. If you’re worried about messing up, you will. There’s no option B. 
2. You will wear your heart on your sleeve while simultaneously dreaming about punching your kid in the face when they misbehave—but only sometimes.
3. Your children will keep you humble. Like asking publicly why someone’s butt is big or why is that lady wearing that hideous dress—also loudly and with exceptional disdain, and zero regard for said lady, her big butt or her ugly dress. 
4. Parenting is so freaking hard. Like defeating the final villain of the video game repeatedly every day until you die or run out of lives or sleep or something. Regardless, it’s really freaking hard. Like I don’t wanna sometimes.
5. Just when you think you’ve got it whipped…You’re an idiot. Just kidding, but for real—did you really think you had it figured out?! 
6. See Rule 1

It’s the first week of school. Emotions are running high. Some kids are perfect, and if they are yours, you’ve stumbled upon this blog by mistake. You should probably leave now. I’m not the gal for you. If you haven’t figured it out by now, I’m not going to sugar coat it for you. My truth is appealing, because I’m writing what most of you are thinking. It’s just easier for me to articulate, because it keeps me out of prison as a form of therapy. So if your kids are perfect and your parenting is too, buh-bye.

Squirrel. 

Back to those emotions. This is my 14th year as a homeschool parent. Yikes. When I type that out, 😳😬. I’ve graduated one, and there’s 3 more coming down the pike—two in high school and a 6th grader. 

It’s Day 2 of school. Many of you are questioning every life decision you’ve made to get you where you are today. You’ve read my parenting rules. You’re laugh crying through your Ben & Jerry’s/3rd glass of wine/Crave Case with reckless abandon. 

Calm down, Becky. It’s going to get better. Soon enough you’ll be lulled by the monotony of the school routine. You and Junior will gain confidence in whatever it is that you’re both supposed to be doing. Little by little, day by day it’ll get easier. 

Some of you had children change course mid-day. Oops! I don’t want to go to public school/private school/homeschool/online school. To those of you who are punting today, I salute you. 

To those of you who sent their kid to their last first day, I salute you. That crap is hard. And folks, check on the parents of seniors. They are not ok. 

To those who sent a kiddo to Pre-K or K, that’s really hard, too. You go mom and dad!

No matter who you sent to school or kept home, this first week back is hard. So is parenting, as a rule. It doesn’t get easier. It gets different. 

As a baby you worry about diapers and feeding schedules. Are they growing enough? As a toddler you teach them to talk, then quickly wish that you didn’t. By Kindergarten, you wonder, if they’ll keep up in school or end up bored. By high school you’ll worry about everything—friends, too many or not enough, are they bad friends, good friends, drugs, alcohol, and life partners, careers and on and on. Your mind will race—looking back at every single parenting decision up until this moment and looking forward to every single possibility for potential future situations. 

Who, what, where, when, why, how?! Did I mess it up?! Probably. You did. At least once. If you’re being honest, way more than that. 

99.9% of the time, the one mistake you made doesn’t define you or your child for eternity. Rest in that. You, my friend, are not that powerful. Do the next right thing. Looking forward, looking back, it doesn’t matter. 

The Rules remain. No matter the age. The Rules remain.